When the Phone Is Always Engaged

You ring, it’s engaged. You ring again an hour later, still engaged. It’s worrying, especially if they live alone, and it’s one of the most common practical problems families raise.

Why it keeps happening

It’s rarely anything wrong with the line. The usual reasons are:

• The cordless handset wasn’t ended. With many cordless phones, the call isn’t fully finished until someone presses the red button or puts the handset back on its base. Laid down on a table, it can keep the line busy for hours.
• The receiver isn’t quite back on the cradle, or it’s been knocked off.
• A button was pressed by accident, for example with the handset in a pocket or mixed up with the TV remote.

Pressing a button to end a call is a newer habit than simply putting the phone down, and newer habits are often the first to go with dementia.

What tends to help

• A corded phone. Hanging up is just putting the receiver back, a habit most people have had for a lifetime. Phone providers’ own help forums often suggest this for exactly this problem. Big-button corded phones are widely available.
• One handset, one home. If you keep a cordless phone, have just one, always back on its charging base in the same spot. A simple label on the base, such as “Phone lives here”, can help.
• An off-the-hook warning. Some call-blocking units include a spoken warning that repeats out loud until the receiver is put back. Many also block scam and nuisance calls, which is a real bonus (see our scams guide).
• A louder phone. Phones left off the hook usually make a warning tone, but it’s easy to miss with hearing loss. An amplified phone makes it louder.
• Tell the phone provider. Explain that the line is used by someone with dementia and ask what support they offer customers in vulnerable circumstances.

Have a back-up plan

Even with the right phone, it’s worth having a second way to check in:

• A neighbour, friend or keyholder you can ring who’s happy to knock on the door
• A regular check-in time, so a missed call stands out
• A simple mobile kept charged in one place, if they can still use one (our mobile phone guide covers the options)

If you can’t get through and you’re genuinely worried for their safety, ask someone nearby to check on them. If you think they’re in danger, call 999.

A word from The Care Compass

An engaged tone that won’t clear can send your mind to the worst place. Most of the time it’s a handset left on the arm of a chair, and a small change to the phone itself fixes it.

You don’t have to navigate it alone.