Choosing a Funeral: Burial, Cremation, Natural Burial, and What Happens to the Ashes

Once the immediate shock has passed, there are real decisions to make about what kind of funeral feels right, and, if cremation is chosen, what happens afterwards. This guide sets out the main options in plain English, so those conversations start from a clear picture rather than guesswork.

Different Types of Funeral, Explained

"Funeral" covers more ground than people often realise, and the right choice is a personal one, not just a financial one. Here's what's actually on offer:

• Traditional burial. Interment in a churchyard or cemetery, with a formal grave and usually a headstone. This is the most expensive common option, averaging £5,440, largely because of the plot, the grave-digging fee, and often a more traditional coffin and service.
• Traditional cremation, attended. A funeral service followed by cremation, with mourners present throughout. Averages £3,518, and is currently the most commonly chosen option in the UK.
• Natural or woodland burial. A gentler, lower-impact alternative, in a meadow or woodland setting rather than a conventional cemetery. It typically uses a biodegradable coffin (willow, cardboard, or a natural shroud), doesn't usually involve embalming, and a tree or small plaque often replaces a headstone. Costs vary a great deal by site, but often fall somewhere between £1,000 and £4,000, generally less than a traditional burial, mainly because the coffin and memorial are simpler, not because the setting is cheap to arrange.
• Direct cremation or direct burial. No attended service at all, the simplest and least expensive legal option, starting from around £1,600. A memorial or celebration of life can still be held separately, in your own time and in your own way, once ashes are returned.

None of these is the "right" choice. What matters is that it reflects what the person would have wanted, and what the family can genuinely manage, both emotionally and financially. For a full breakdown of real UK costs and what help exists if money is tight, see our guide to funeral costs →

What Happens to the Ashes

After a cremation, there's no legal time limit on keeping ashes, and no obligation to do anything with them at all. It's entirely normal for a family to keep them at home for years while they decide, or permanently.

The main options families choose between:

• Scattering at the crematorium's garden of remembrance. The simplest route, usually free or low-cost, and often the default if a family doesn't ask for the ashes back, so it's worth checking what happens as standard if this matters to you.
• Scattering somewhere meaningful. On your own land, no permission is needed. On someone else's private land, you'll need the landowner's permission, most are understanding about this. On public land, it's worth checking with the council or managing body (such as the National Trust) first. At sea, GOV.UK confirms no licence or permission is needed, though the Environment Agency has guidance worth following for inland rivers and lakes.
• Burial of ashes. In a dedicated ashes plot, a family grave, or a memorial garden, usually with the cemetery or church's permission and a fee, often with a small plaque or memorial.
• Keeping them at home, or dividing them between family members. There's no law governing who "owns" ashes or how they're divided, so this is genuinely a family decision, best agreed between everyone with an interest before anything is decided.

Rules can vary slightly by site and by nation, so it's always worth a quick check with the cemetery, church, crematorium, or landowner before making firm plans.

What About the Wake?

A wake (also called a reception, a "gathering," or a "celebration of life," depending on the family and the region) is the informal part after the service, where mourners come together to eat, talk, and share memories. There's no obligation to have one at all, and plenty of families choose not to, particularly with a direct cremation or a very small service.

If you do have one, it's genuinely flexible:

• Timing. Almost always after the service, though the order and format vary by faith and culture, worth checking with whoever's leading the ceremony if you're unsure.
• Venue. A pub or hotel function room, a village or church hall, a golf club, or simply someone's home. Many pubs offer a room free if you use their catering and bar, a straightforward option if you'd rather not organise catering yourself.
• Catering. From a simple tea-and-sandwiches spread to a full sit-down meal. There's no expectation to feed everyone lavishly, a modest buffet is entirely normal and appreciated.
• The bar. If there is one, it's common (and completely acceptable) for guests to buy their own once an initial round or a fixed tab runs out. There's no obligation for the family to cover drinks all evening.

On cost: a simple wake in a pub or hall typically runs £350–£900 for catering and any venue hire, according to industry venue-cost data for 2026. Larger gatherings with a sit-down meal and a bar tab can reach £2,000 or more. Many families hold the wake at home specifically to keep this cost down, and it's a genuinely common, unremarkable choice, not a compromise.

For the fuller financial picture, including help if paying for any part of the funeral is a genuine worry, see our guide to funeral costs and financial help →

Common Questions

You don’t have to navigate it alone.