Looking Ahead
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Looking Ahead
Planning ahead doesn't mean every decision needs to be made today.
It simply means you've begun laying the foundations that will help your family feel more prepared, more informed and more confident if circumstances change.
Many people continue living independently for years after a diagnosis, particularly with the right support around them. The focus now shifts from planning for the future to making the most of today.
The next stage explores how to help your loved one remain safe, independent and living well at home for as long as possible. From adapting routines and introducing practical support to recognising when extra help may be needed, small changes can often make a significant difference to both quality of life and peace of mind.
Remember, asking for support isn't a sign that you've failed.
It's often one of the kindest decisions you can make for everyone involved.
Understanding Your Loved One's Wishes
- Future care preferences
- What matters most to them
- Independence
- Family conversations
- Recording wishes
One conversation that's easy to put off is what someone actually wants for their own funeral. It doesn't need to be the whole thing mapped out. A full order of service, every hymn chosen. Often it's just one or two must-haves that matter to them: a particular song, being cremated rather than buried, no flowers, a specific person to speak. Knowing even that much can make an enormous difference later.
We had a funeral plan in place for Dad. We didn't for Mum. I wish, looking back, that we'd spoken more openly with both of them about what they'd actually want, not because either funeral went wrong, but because I was left guessing on some of the smaller details, wondering if we'd got it right, rather than simply knowing.
The call to actually lock in a date often comes gently, and the tone from the funeral director usually stays kind throughout. But if the funeral falls within a couple of weeks and you're the one organising it, be kind to yourself, and say clearly if you need support or guidance along the way. Funeral directors are genuinely skilled at handling this with care, but they can't make the personal choices for you. You'll be asked about the service, songs, flowers, and a string of smaller decisions, often sooner than you'd expect once a date is set.
If you're not sure what someone would have wanted and can't ask them directly, it's worth knowing these conversations aren't always had with family first. Someone may have mentioned a wish to a close friend or neighbour that they never raised at home, not because of any failing in the family, but simply because it can be easier to talk about with someone a little further outside it. If you're stuck, it's worth gently asking around.
Planning for the Future
- Lasting Power of Attorney
- Wills
- Trusts
- Advance Care Planning
- Important documents
- Organising your care file
What Happens When Mum Can't Make Her Own Decisions
On the journey home from the diagnosis, Dad, always financially prudent, said we needed to look at our Wills, and what would happen when Mum couldn't make her own decisions anymore. I remember Mum saying, “I’ll be fine, that won’t happen.” Maybe even then, the reality of the diagnosis hadn’t fully landed. We got on with it the next day anyway.
The words “Power of Attorney” and “LPA” didn’t exist in my vocabulary before this. The prompt that started it all was Dad’s question: what happens when Mum can’t make her own decisions? That’s when we began to explore what we could put in place. Protection, peace of mind, less stress, financial security for both of them.
The process itself was long, and every document needed full focus and a right-first-time mentality, or it cost more money and more time.
Alongside the LPAs, we had to sort Mum and Dad’s Wills. First, we spent months trying to track down one Dad thought he already had. It never materialised, and the company he’d used didn’t even exist anymore. So we started from scratch, and had to think through how the Will should actually be structured. At times like that, you start weighing up their wishes. It’s important to guide and support, but it’s their decision how they structure things. All you can really do is help them understand what each option means.
We had to look up, together, what a joint will meant versus tenants in common. More new vocabulary, “tenants in common” especially. It was actually a friend, who’d been through a dementia diagnosis with their own loved one, who suggested it to us. It meant that if something happened to Mum, Dad would keep security over half the house, something we’d never even thought to plan for.
Getting this arranged with a solicitor while Mum could still understand it was critical in how things played out. Prioritising it and committing to a plan really helped us as a family.
The word “Power of Attorney” didn’t exist in my vocabulary before this. Prioritising it and committing to a plan really helped us as a family.
Find or start fresh
Search for an existing Will first. If it can't be located, you'll need to start again from scratch.
Choose the structure
Decide how the Will should work. This is their decision, guided by you.
Joint vs Tenants in Common
Two different ways to own a shared home. Worth understanding both before deciding.
Worth checking: what’s already covered. When we were sorting Mum’s Will, Dad was convinced one was already in place, it wasn’t. He then asked his union whether they offered free advice on writing a new one. They didn’t. It’s worth checking anyway: some unions, professional bodies, and even some employers offer free or discounted legal advice, Will-writing, or a one-off consultation as a membership or workplace benefit. Don’t assume it exists, and don’t assume it doesn’t either. A five-minute call to ask can save real money either way.
Understanding Future Care Costs
- How care is funded
- NHS funding
- Local authority support
- Benefits
- Financial planning
- Seeking professional advice
The Hidden Costs Families Often Don't Expect
Travel. Parking. Time away from work. Hotels. Meals. Equipment. Reduced income.
These are often the costs no one warns families about.
Building Your Support Network
- GP
- Consultants
- Memory clinic
- Community nurses
- Social worker
- Family and friends
- Local support groups
Questions Worth Asking
- What should we be planning now?
- Is this the right time for Power of Attorney?
- What financial support may be available?
- Who do we contact if things change?
- What should we expect next?
Helpful Resources
- Journey Planner
- Working Carers Toolkit
- Jargon Translator
- Government guidance
- Local authority information
A Final Thought Before You Move On
Planning for the future asks us to have conversations we'd often rather postpone.
That takes courage.
Every discussion you have today, every document you organise and every question you ask is an act of care. You're not simply preparing paperwork. You are protecting your loved one's wishes, their dignity and the decisions they would want made on their behalf.
You won't get everything right, and you don't need to.
What matters most is that you're taking one step at a time, with compassion, honesty and love.
One day, you may find yourself making decisions for someone who can no longer make them for themselves.
When that moment comes, one of the greatest comforts is knowing those decisions are guided by their wishes, not your guesses.
Take your time.
Keep talking.
Keep asking questions.
And remember. You don't have to navigate this journey alone.
Common Questions About Planning Ahead
There's no diagnosis yet. Is it too early to start planning?
It's never too early, and it's often better this way round. Lasting Power of Attorney and Wills both depend on someone having mental capacity at the time they're signed, waiting for a diagnosis before starting these conversations can mean waiting too long. Planning while things still feel manageable, rather than in a crisis, tends to be far less stressful for everyone.
What's the actual difference between a Will and a Lasting Power of Attorney?
They cover completely different moments. A Will only takes effect after someone dies, deciding what happens to their estate. An LPA takes effect while someone is still alive but has lost the ability to make decisions themselves, covering finances, property, health and care. Most families need both, and they're not a substitute for one another.
My parent doesn't want to talk about this, what can I do?
This is genuinely common, and rarely about stubbornness. It's often fear of losing independence, or simply not wanting to face what the conversation implies. Rather than one big conversation, smaller, low-pressure moments tend to work better: mentioning a friend's experience, or framing it as "getting organised" rather than "planning for when you can't cope." It's also worth revisiting gently rather than dropping it after one difficult attempt.
Do we need a solicitor for all of this, or can we do it ourselves?
For a Lasting Power of Attorney, no. It can be completed through GOV.UK's own online service for the standard registration fee. A solicitor becomes more valuable where things are less straightforward: a contested family situation, complex assets, or if you'd simply rather have it handled for you. Our full LPA guide covers the process step by step.
What if we've left it too late and capacity has already reduced?
An LPA can no longer be set up once capacity is lost, but it isn't the end of the road. The remaining option is applying to the Court of Protection for a Deputyship, which achieves a similar outcome but takes considerably longer, costs more, and the Court decides who's appointed rather than the family choosing in advance. If this is where you are, it's worth starting that process as soon as possible rather than waiting.
You don’t have to navigate it alone.